Just the Wrong Side of Good

"Frankenstein's Army" (2013)

If a distance runner hits the proverbial wall, what does a writer hit?

I’m sure there’s some kind of cute answer for this. Possibly a joke I’ve been remiss in keeping close at hand? Whatever the answer is I hit it this afternoon with a loud and ungainly “SPLAT!”

It was, shall we say, messy.

There are Chloe-leavings everywhere and I don’t know how I’m ever going to get myself out of the carpet. *chuckles*

Surprisingly, I had already completed the 500 word quota on Book Two of “The Lion and the Steed” series before the “SPLAT!”

With that accomplishment tucked into my back pocket, after the wall incident I figured it would be Ok to surrender a few hours to a horror movie. I hadn’t allowed myself that in weeks.

Before everybody starts crowding the exits, I am not going to force a Chloe Review down your throats this afternoon.

*the world heaves a collective sigh*

I will pretend not to have heard that. 

Anyway, I will just tell you that the movie’s title was “Frankenstein’s Army.” Made in 2013 it was imaginative if not particularly good. The reason I mention it at all is this…

I’d like to give huge kudos to whoever decided to NOT go the CGI route with the monsters (probably the director/writer, Richard Raaphorst.) That decision took balls and was by far the best thing about the movie. The whole film had a quirky though menacing steampunk-feel to it. Monster movie fans should definitely have a look at this creepy spectacle just the wrong side of good.

See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?

Now, I will gather my splattered remains and leave you to your Friday night. Have a great one, folks!

Until tomorrow…

Chloe

Editing "Cheat Sheet" for a Few Dollars More

Lee Van Cleef

I love me some Lee Van Cleef.

Just saying.

As you may have surmised from my opening sentence of really bad English, Sergio Leone is directing my morning’s company. Clint Eastwood and his poncho are also here, as are the rest of their “For a Few Dollars More” counterparts.

All of which means, of course, I’ll be trying to whistle the theme song all freaking day. Ah, well. It’s a small price to pay for a few hours with Mr. Van Cleef (I admit guiltlessly to watching “High Noon” just for that opening shot of Lee waiting by the tree.)

While I’m sure all this Chloe-trivia fascinates you, let’s get to why you’ve graced me with a Friday morning visit. That would be, in case you weren’t aware, my authorly wisdom and insightful insight into the being-a-writer business…

Yes, well.

Shall we carry on before we all choke to death in a fit of chuckles?

I do, however, have for you a small copy editor “cheat sheet,” if you will. There are no trade secrets revealed here. This is just a little list of the things I’m always caught on when I get edits back from a publisher. I’m not sure how much this will help anyone, but I offer it in hopes that it will.

          -Ellipses, editors usually hate these. Occasionally you’ll find an editor who is Ok with them, so if you feel they are vital to the feel of your story, include them. The worst they can do is ask you to change them to periods or colons. I spent a great deal of yesterday’s “Ravenscar” edits time turning ellipses into periods. (I’ve got a hang-up with those three little dots that lead the reader on. Thankfully, I never use such things in my blog…) *lol*

          -Passive voice. Yeah, this is one I’m sure you all know about. Instead of “He was listening at the door,” it should be “He listened at the door.” After a couple dozen publications, I’ve finally gotten a better hang at avoiding these. However, I’m inevitably caught in the easy mistake a time or two each project.

          -This one is a bit tricky and really depends on the copy editor you get… Using the name of a character too often versus using a descriptor for him. Such as, “Ethan couldn’t believe…. Blah, blah, blah… but the man could believe this.” Some editors hate you using Ethan this, Ethan that. They feel it’s too repetitive (and I agree with them). However, sometimes you’ll get an editor who says that by using these descriptors instead of the actual name of the character you are causing a needless separation between the audience and the character. Don’t be surprised if you’re caught in either “wrong.” It’s simply a personal choice, not an attack on your writing skill. This is particularly true in the romance genre.

Alright, I believe I have bored you enough this morning with my silly wisdom. I’ll leave you to your day.

Meanwhile, I’m off to whistle.

Until tonight…

Chloe

Chloe Review: "State of Emergency"



"State of Emergency" (2011)

As ice and snow grips the deep south tonight, I offer up a little diversion from the weather, a break from my normal fare… A Chloe Review!

So, as you snuggle down for a little horror movie goodness, know I have added another 250 words to my “Lion & Steed” novel due March 15 and have continued to edit Chapter One down to the finest storytelling I can muster. My short story for Carina Press actually has words attached to the basic storyline I outlined for you this morning. Not many words, I grant you, but a writer’s got to start somewhere.

Now, without further ado, the Chloe Review for “State of Emergency”…

The Particulars… “State of Emergency” was filmed in Mt. Sterling, Kentucky. The horror movie was released in 2011. The budget was $1.3 million (and where all this money went I’d really like to know).

The Chloe Blurb… When a chemical plant explodes in a rural county, the majority of the citizens are turned into zombie-like creatures. This is the story of a lucky few who survive the toxic cloud unchanged but are trapped in the quarantined county. Alive but hunted, they wait for help that might never come.

The Players… The actors, in general, were fine. While the characters never seemed to make that close connection the movie’s plot really needed, this was due more to a tiresome, clichéd dialogue than to the actors’ abilities. I particularly liked Tori White (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1979997/?ref_=tt_cl_t3 as the teenager. While her character spent most of the movie unlikeable, White still managed to sparkle through all of the teenager’s contrived angst. Side Note: Did anyone else think Jay Hayden (“Jim”) looked a lot like a very young Richard Gere?

On the Plot… While the storyline is pulled right off of the shelf of stockpiled zombie plots every studio must have, I went into this movie hoping for some quite a twist. Living dead movies are basically all the same, but I like watching them to see what the writers come up with to make their story memorable, unique. The writers drew blanks on this one though. Nothing new. Nothing memorable. And the dialogue… have I mentioned how trite, how mundane, how thoroughly expected every single word was in the movie? Oh well, at least it went well with the tired plot.

Plot Holes, Miscues and the Like… Spoilers lurk here. Read this list of WTF questions at your own risk. You have been warned.

          -When they heard the helicopters fly over the warehouse, why didn’t they go to the roof to try to flag them down? They had already been up there, and it sure as heck would be a lot safer than running out the front door and waving their arms.

          -How freaking big was this county? With all those helicopters and the supposed troops in them, that rural county had to have been cleared in a few days, not over the week it took. Remember, the closest drug store was across the county, not a thriving metropolis nearby then.

          -If Jim was cleared of being infected and about to be let go, why was he shackled to the chair like a dangerous criminal at the end?

          -Why was the older woman looking for her daughter able to talk and interact normally, while all the other infected could do no more than grunt?

          -What was the point of the wife character? She did nothing except offer water to her guests and open a few cans of food. She had no chemistry with her husband, Scott. They acted more like general acquaintances than lovers.

           -So how did Jim and his wife end up in that car accident that we are to assume killed her at the beginning of the movie?

           -The sirens went off when the plant exploded and then what? It would take quite a while for airborne chemicals to spread to everyone in a county so large. What did the people do in the meantime? Knit?

           -Why would the military shut down all phones going out of the county? Wouldn’t it make more sense if the people who survived were able to call for help to more than their neighbor in the barn? And if they didn’t want the county’s residents talking to the media, couldn’t they just monitor the calls? There were only a handful of survivors, it couldn’t be that hard.

          -Why would the toxic chemicals only spread to the county line but not drift over? I know I’d hate to have been living just over that county line.

With these haunting questions I leave you.

Until tomorrow…

Chloe