The Frothing Darkness

“Sam found himself smiling, although he couldn’t pinpoint exactly why. He just felt good, better than he had in a very long time, and he knew Brevyn Steed was behind it, in his own unique, overbearing, foolishly cavalier way.” (Writhe, page 80)

 

With an alarming sense of certainty, I come to you this afternoon sure that I can’t write.

Before alarms are sounded or eyes are rolled at my overplayed pathos, I am simply speaking of writing on Book Two today.

It’s a nervous day for me, one in which my panic disorder is bubbling up to the surface from the depths my meds and years of experience have buried it.

It is not pleasant.

Thankfully, unlike in years long past, I know that it will pass. Tomorrow will be a better day, at least in that respect.

I sometimes forget (possibly block out with all my wishes) that this is how I used to be every day. That how I am right this minute would have easily been deemed a “good day” in my twenties.

I’m sure there is a reason for such reminders to strike, for such hours to blacken and darken all the progress that has been made.

Yes, I’m sure there is a reason.

But I don’t know what it is.

Perhaps tomorrow when my literary escape is once again open to me, when I can string a romance together with laughter and angst not my own, I’ll find that reason.

Perhaps.

But on days like this, I doubt it.

And isn’t that a crying shame?

Until tomorrow…

Chloe

Remember the Lumbering Beast

Monday has lumbered back into our lives again, loaded down with all of the must-do’s the weekend had been gracious enough to turn a blind eye to.

I am so not looking forward to the baggage the day will be dumping at my feet. Let’s have a look at what will be squishing my poor, undefended toes this morning…

1.) Got to call the body shop about the state of my brand new, little Civic which was laid low by a big, hulking Ford Explorer on April 19^th. Repairs, which will include two new doors, new panels over the front wheel and a whole bunch of other crap I have no idea what it does or where it goes, are scheduled to be done May 16. Time to check if that’s still the big day. (Remember: talking to body shops, mechanics and the like always leaves me feeling dumb as a corn flake.)

2.) Have to eat at some point. Yuck. (Remember: a disdain for eating is one of the more unusual quirks to the Chloe Stowe madness.)

3.) Waiting on my mother’s regular checkup at the doctor’s. I tuck this must-do here in the middle of the list hoping it will disappear altogether. (Remember: an utter belief that Fate is about to strike me and my loved ones down is one of the very worst symptoms of my mental illness.)

4.) Got to think about writing Ravenous Romance for a check on Writhe’s progress.  I’m not quite sure yet if I’m going to give them one more day to hear from them about either the cover or the release date. It’s been almost 2 months since I turned Book One of “The Lion and the Series” in and 2 weeks since I last heard from them, so I think a check/nudge is appropriate, right? Right? (Remember:  I hate to nudge.)

5.) Another 750 words on Book Two of “The Lion and the Steed” series is on the plate today. While this is hardly a burden, it is a little disheartening to write on a sequel to something whose original’s release date is still up in the air.

So, as you can no doubt see my poor defenseless toes won’t necessarily be broken by today’s load of must-do’s, but they will be badly bruised. I’m particularly worried about my littlest toe. It’s particularly fragile to Mondays.

*chuckles*

Have a great Monday, everyone!

Until tonight…

Chloe