Saturday, April 5, 2014

When Stupidity Beats the Sun

The sun is still struggling to rise above the Florida horizon and I’m already embroiled in a spectacularly stupid movie.

Oh yeah, today’s going to be good.

For enquiring minds, I am stuck in the White House with Channing Tatum and Jamie Foxx as James Woods takes revenge on the U.S. government for apparently giving him a poor retirement send-off. (Yep, that’s actually the plot.)

Of course, we also have the typical, atypical child who is able to hide from the bad guys when the rest of the Secret Service can’t (a most annoying child she is too, by the way). A girl who the terrorists allow to sass them to their faces without a speck of retribution (the same terrorists who have just mowed down a couple hundred people without so much as a blink of regret)…

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Frank, my dog and I are watching “White House Down.”

I’m afraid my specter of imminent failure (Frankie boy) is already leaking brain cells out of his ears, and we’re only halfway through the film. By the time the credits roll, we all may be comatose here.

This movie just goes to show that even the finest actors can’t overcome a crap script.

SIDE NOTE: “Olympus Has Fallen,” the rival terrorists-in-the-White-House movie, is also a pile of cow dung.

Yeah, Chloe’s in a mood.

Sorry.

Didn’t sleep well last night.

Nightmares at every turn.

It’s supposed to rain.

And Frank is starting to smell (nearly three weeks of waiting for Writhe’s release has begun to take its toll on the old, imaginary chap; I fear Frank’s starting to rot.)

*sighs*

I think it’s best if I leave now before my foul mood catches and swallows you kind folk up whole.

Wish me well in surviving the film and Frank’s growing stench.

*holding nose and waves*

Until tonight…

Chloe

No comments:

Post a Comment